In going through the logs of visits to this here humble slice of the blogosphere, I’m finding more and more searches for the lyrics to “Frosty the Dopeman”. I did a post on it last year and since everyone seems to be finding my site as a result, I figure what the hell, give the people what they want. So without further adieu, here’s my post from last year (with a few edits to include the entire lyrics):

I found this over at Buried.com and thought it was hilarious! BE ADVISED, SOME OF THESE PARODIES ARE NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART!

Frosty the Dopeman
(sung to the tune of Frosty The Snowman)Frosty the dopeman was a mildly happy soul
With an old crackpipe and a runny nose
and two eyes squinting like a mole’s
Frosty the dopeman was no fairy tale, no way
He wasn’t made of snow, but the children know
that he used some everyday
There must have been some magic in that
old syringe they found
For when they stuck it in his arm
he began to jump around

O, Frosty the dopeman was as wired as he could be
And the children say he could smoke all day,
much more than you and me
Puffetty Puff Puff
Puffetty Puff puff
Look at Frosty go
Puffetty Puff Puff
Puffetty Puff puff
Hey Kid, Where’s my blow?

Frosty the dopeman knew his shit was hot that day
So he said “Let’s run and we’ll have some fun
before the cops take me away”

Down to the alley, with a crackpipe in his hand
Running here and there `til he burnt his hair,
saying “Shit I’m on fire man”
He rolled around in the trash from town
right into some big-ass cop
And he never even heard him
when the policeman hollered “Stop!”

For Frosty the dopeman was all ready on his way
But he waved goodbye saying “Fuck you guy,
You ain’t gonna catch my ass today”
humpetty hump hump
humpety hump hump
Look at that crackhead go
humpetty hump hump
humpety hump hump
Gotta have that dope Mofo’

There’s a lot more on his site that’ll keep you laughing all night long. Quite refreshing compared to the typical fare we get every Christmas season. OK, maybe not refreshing, actually quite sick and twisted.